my being single is dangerous.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
