i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
