all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
