And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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