I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
