Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
