I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
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I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
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I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize