Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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