..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize