a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
