The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
