In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
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I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
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I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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