every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
