why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i was born a porn star she said
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
