Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
