I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
