if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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