reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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