Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
