I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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