Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Randomize
