You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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