so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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