Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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