I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
3 2 1 whiskey
And then my night got REAL pukey
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
