And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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