Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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