I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
