this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
