I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Randomize