This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
