literally had 100 drinks last night.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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