if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I can't turn off my feet"
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize