Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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