Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
