so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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