THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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