i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
