I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
