I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
