what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
