just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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