Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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