the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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