so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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