so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
