By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You pole danced in your parka.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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