She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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