I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
