i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high