would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear