Texts From Last Night

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  (646): View more from New York

  party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.

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  (646): party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record. http://tfl.nu/hgn7
  Replies (2) Good night (4037) Bad night (538)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.

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  (770): Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable. http://tfl.nu/w2xg
  Replies (16) Good night (2722) Bad night (1320)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.

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  (775): I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;) (1-775): Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city. http://tfl.nu/zbb5
  Replies (14) Good night (4871) Bad night (747)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.

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  (506): A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously. http://tfl.nu/nor0
  Replies (43) Good night (1343) Bad night (5648)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.

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  (416): He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French. http://tfl.nu/rqrw
  Replies (81) Good night (1082) Bad night (5857)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave

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  (614): All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave http://tfl.nu/wc16
  Replies (6) Good night (3303) Bad night (860)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.

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  (778): I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT. http://tfl.nu/jn8b
  Replies (17) Good night (1312) Bad night (4253)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.

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  (803): I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something. http://tfl.nu/acd6
  Replies (4) Good night (1528) Bad night (833)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.

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  (610): I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun. http://tfl.nu/gl1b
  Replies (6) Good night (1680) Bad night (1207)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.

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  (+61): I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog. http://tfl.nu/k4kj
  Replies (5) Good night (1663) Bad night (1042)
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  (530): View more from California

  So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?

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  (530): So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right? http://tfl.nu/yok0
  Replies (10) Good night (1466) Bad night (624)
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  (234): View more from Ohio

  Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?

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  (234): Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories? http://tfl.nu/bj62
  Replies (6) Good night (759) Bad night (295)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.

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  (561): You know I love you. I just don't love your penis. http://tfl.nu/4w11
  Replies (6) Good night (415) Bad night (1182)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment

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  (773): We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment http://tfl.nu/wv2s
  Replies (2) Good night (647) Bad night (234)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"

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  (260): I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby" http://tfl.nu/6cul
  Replies (0) Good night (625) Bad night (254)

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