They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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