I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
zippers are such a cool invention
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?