I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.