I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
