He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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