I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
