So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
