Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
