I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
