apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
