5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
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I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
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PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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