Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
operation harelip BJ is a go
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
