New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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