Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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