why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize