can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
