well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
