We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
