I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The uberlube is also flammable
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
