I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
